...of Hummers and Ponds

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here is a promise from a good & just God, who tells us things are going to be alright after all.

  Sometimes, that’s all we have to bank on. And it can be frustrating, because… well, it just doesn’t seem quite enough, not convincing enough, especially during our darkest hours. We are asked to trust, to persevere and to have faith, even at our lowest times. This from a God who won’t announce His presence in more tangible ways – at least from our human, and rather limited, perspective. Is it that He doesn’t ever approach us and make Himself known? Or is it we in our lack of faith who won’t open our eyes enough to see that which is right in front of us? Allow me to illustrate through a personal story.

Over the years, a couple of dear friends and I have had chats about God, about how easy it is to hold ground on our faith when things are sunny and warm, and how quickly that same faith can dissipate when the storms roll in; when the bills pile up. This is a very personal, subjective experience that I shared with them both, and as such, it may or may not seem adequate to you, dear reader. And yet for me, it resonates deep within my soul to this day.

I love ponds…something about water trickling over rocks, gurgling and spilling into a Lilliputian lake of my own design that satisfies me to the very core. As part of a spring break project, I was intent on building such a pond. It had been a frustrating few weeks at the end of the semester; some of my students had been intent on making under-achievement their goal. I was having doubts about my life’s direction, and God seemed so distant the last couple of months. I pondered all the usual rhetorical questions as I grabbed my pick ax and shovel and took out my festering frustrations on the ground below me. As I broke ground for the new pond, I tried praying, I tried whistling, but the gray cloud that crept over me only grew darker. Just like Lieutenant Dan up on that mast riding out the rough seas, I mentally shook my fist at God, challenging Him as I hacked away at the earth. After all, I really wasn’t asking for much! Sweat dripped from my face as I quietly pleaded for Him to simply show up and say hi. Simple reassurance that would take all of ten seconds! Then He could go on his merry way (as if He would need permission from the likes of me!) A quick pat on the back from the Creator, and I’d be a brand new man.

The dirt and debris flew, but repeated swings of the pick axe did little to alleviate my angst. Around mid afternoon I stopped digging long enough to admire the blisters for which I had worked so diligently. I leaned against my shovel and took stock of my progress. Part of the backyard décor at that time included a hummingbird feeder that glistened red in the sun, attracting numerous Hummers that afternoon. One such little guy caught me completely off guard, pulling up right in front of me. He hovered 3 feet from my face, invisible wings making that insane buzzing noise. He hung in the air, motionless, and studied me for a good 10 seconds. I became a statue; all breathing ceased, my mind went blank and I simply stared back. With nary a drop of effort and incredible grace, he floated before me, staring at me, almost as if asking permission to drink from the feeder. After what seemed minutes, He finally slid backward toward the feeder, studying my face the whole time. He turned his thumbsized body on a dime, took his fill, and shot up into the sky. I had yet to move a muscle…It took a conscious effort to remember that I was supposed to breath.

Within those few seconds of exchanged glances, I felt an implied understanding right then... that was simply God stopping by to say howdy ~ and by the way, thanks for the nectar.

Admit it or not, whether I believe it or not, whether it sounds hokey or not; call me gullible… that face-to-face meeting was a tangible God saying hello. That was him letting me know that He is there, and hadn’t gone anywhere. The weight on my shoulders lifted just that quickly, and a feeling of peace and a subtle but unmistakable joy came over me. Nothing had changed, and yet, everything had changed.

For months, I had asked God for a show; I had asked for the skies to announce His presence in grand fashion… but there was no crack of lightning to knock me off my feet. His voice didn’t hail from the clouds, such as He did with a loving father’s sense of pride when his son stood before John in the river to be baptized. God didn’t resort to silly parlor tricks just because I stomped my feet and shook my fist like a three-year-old, wanting my way.

This was His way, and it always works, whether I believe it or not. Hindsight always seems to show us that he had the right idea all along. He knows what He’s doing. He knows what we need, and when we need it…whether we agree or not. He used one of His miniature messengers to visit me, a lowly soul, and because of it, life has never been quite the same… nor do I want it to be. God believes in us, even when we don’t wish to reciprocate.     

So there you have it, a source of my inspiration for years now. It is just meant to be a reminder that clearly, a tangible God stopped in and said hello in a way that let me know that He is there for us and He's always watching and always caring about us and what we're going through. To this day, hummingbirds humble me, and remind me to glance skyward and thank Him for every moment of this blessed life…